Seasons

Wow.  To think of where I was in life a year ago, I am astounded at how much change can happen in a year. 

This time last year we were painting baby Coats' room in neutral colors because Jon insisted on us not finding out Baby Coats' gender (I'm so glad we waited by the way).  We were also anticipating our long dreamed of New York Trip which we took last November (and was everything we hoped and dreamed.)

I would sit in the baby room by myself at night on occassion just thinking of what it would be like to have that sweet babe here. 

Obviously, yes, having a baby is a big change, but there was/is so much change in so many areas that it's almost like I was living a completely different life looking back.  So much change has stretched me in ways I never knew were coming and it has been painful at times- but the joy is incredible. 

Going from working in the office 5 days a week to 1 day a week has been quite a challenge.  While I WANT to be a stay at home mom, it is not easy.  I'm finding that without as much work I don't have an easy outlet to use my gifts/abilities.  I'm still on that quest for finding "me" in the midst of the day to day gift of beign home with her.

Stepping back in ministry roles has been quite hard.  I miss being able to put my energy into helping Jon with ministry ideas and brainstorming.  We used to come up with ideas and then a plan and them bam, bam, bam we'd knock out the planning and have something going in a flash!  I have lots of ideas still, but I rarely have the time or energy to do any part of the implementation of them... and let's be real... me giving Jon all these "great ideas" and not helping him implement them is just not nice. 

Our relationships have changed.  I knew this would happen although I did not realize how much it would change.  This happens all the time in life anyways regardless of whether you are having a baby or not.  But there is still a sense of loss when things shift. 

This is all normal.  Change can just be difficult.  Change can also be good.

While our hanging out with others has been reduced a bit, our family time has increased.  We are home as a unit more often which has been good.  I feel like Jon and I are closer than we've been even amidst the lack of sleep and life adjustments we've been in.  Way more team mentality than ever before.

And of course Baby Coats... baby Addison Coats... that right there is proof that change can be good.  Awesome in fact. 

Seasons change and I anticipate every one when the times comes.  And while some of this new season has been hard and challenging it has also been beautiful.  I look forward to the next season whatever it may be while still fully loving and embracing this one!